How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

My brother is older than me , 36.. He used to be vibrant, fun, and good looking when he was in his early twenties, all my friends had a crush on him...

He wanted to pursue his dreams of playing in a band, he was in a a band for awhile doing shows, my Mom convinced him to go college, he did and thats when he started to change, lost alot of friends, never made new ones,

He has a job that pays 100K a year, he has no social life, all he talks about is work, he never moved out of my Moms house, gained about 120 pounds, grey hair, glassed, lost his looks and personality, total computer geek, he does not date and cant meet anyone, All he talks about how life sucks and he got stuck like this.

I told him he could simply get his own place, lose weight and look fowrd to the future, he tells me he doesnt want to and thats not going to do anything,,, he gets mad and tells me to shut up, My Mom has told him this as well, he does nothing about it...

How can i convince him hes ruining his life?

How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

Well sounds like the only person ruining his life is himself.

He obviously lacks the motivation to make any changes to better his life, so basically your brother is screwing himself.

Until he wants to make his own life better, and wants to actually do something about it he will be miserable.

The odd part about what you said is the fact that he makes a decent income and is still living at home...something tells me that he isn't very secure about being on his own and since he has a mom and a sister who will let him "hide" under their roof, he is not going anywhere.

He is frustrated with his fears and takes them out on you two in the form of his complaining about how "bad" his life is, and refusal to change it.

So, now he's bringing you and your mom down to have to deal with his shortcomings. He needs some psychiatric help or counseling.

Mom really needs to cut the apron strings here, but get him to a counselor before she does that, he may snap and do something crazy and I would hate to see anyone get hurt.

With his income being what you said, there should be no problem affording the help, so don't accept that as his valid excuse to NOT get help.

How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

Well first you should find something else you two have in common that has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Get him talking to you about whatever that is and ease the getting back on track issue in.

How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

You can't convince him of anything....He might be suffering with Oedipus complex...It is up to his Mother to cut the apron strings and force him to take responsibility for his living situation... and he has to want to make his life different...you can not force him.

How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

He didn't ruin it. The demands of other people ruined it. When he was doing what he wanted he was happy. Now he is depressed and he should really seek professional help. Maybe you should point out to him that he can still play his music, too. Actually he has turned into what was expected of him and now no one likes it, not even him. Please get him help. he will be resistant at first because he is harboring feelings of discontent towards you and your mother. Try anyway and don't give up.

How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

my brother was in the worst relationship for 15 years plus... all the tell tale signs were there from both... then they divorced... all the family members knew that this was inevitable. it was a tough lesson for him and now he's doing much better... in my case, i could just be there and support him... no words of compassion, anger, or reason would move him until everything for him fell apart...

so step back for awhile... it' his life... just be there if he needs it... good luck...

How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

tell him to go to church i promise he'll be okay . theres nothing can help him except GOD . and u can go to christian's store to buy some good books and give him and pls just don't give up on him be there for him but the only thing is the prayer god can change his life , and if u tell him to go to church go with him and read the books with him

How do I talk to my brother, hes distant?

tell him he was once chance at life, and seriousley needs to life it to the fullest, why can't he go out, loose weight, go find a woman, have a nice family! He's just depressed, maybe intorduce him to a women and maybe she will talk him out of it! He's missing so much living with his parents, he could be the most wonderful husband, dad, or friend. He needs to know that he has one shot at life, and he needs to relize that! I hope I helped! Good luck!