Do you like my new poem?

*****

Wiff

I sit and stare at the world from my chair

and I just can閳ユ獩 tell if there閳ユ獨 life out there, compared

to what I knew before.

Is it the clothes I wear and my old grey hair

or the things I care to share with the air, declared,

What the hell閳ユ獨 that sell?

I can lock inside my fear and my pride

and then go outside with the things that have died, denied

a knife, fork and a spoon.

Just to make them cry, I閳ユ獓 I sit down beside

the ones that are shy and the ones that get high, and pry

open my sardines.

If you feel everything you hear and you see,

completely touchable, reality, rethink

the colors on the chart.

As the time slides by, you will comply

with the rules and the regs and your place in line, certified

do the ducks line up?

*****

Do you like my new poem?

I love this poem. I've read it a few times. Each time, I got a bit more out of it. I love the rhyme and turn of phrase. It's a great poem - a real keeper. And the title is great! You were most definitely deep in thought.

Do you like my new poem?

No. Although it rhymes, it makes no sence. Its just a bunch of words thrown together. Sorry.

Do you like my new poem?

Hello! (I've been away...).

It's good to read you again. I think it does make sense, but it needs to be read over and over again. I find it sad, but not desperate. Am I right?

Nice work on the assonances :)

(what does the title mean?).

(stanza 5: "I'd I sit"? I'd? I? You hesitated there).

Do you like my new poem?

That was really good TD, and it made sense to me. I loved the internal rhyme and the mood you set.

Do you like my new poem?

Kinda agreed with oldmanwithastick, till I went through it the second time, and it kinda came together. 3rd time through it stuck me as being quite good. Thanks for sharing.